Sunday, 20 June 2010

Fathers day Freewrite

Tears wiped as the thoughts of you overwhelmed me beyond belief.
A sea appearing pure at the surface, look deeper and you will find what remains.
Years worth of neglect
Some, wasting away
Left there
Chances of me fixing this issue now seems impossible, almost like attempting to grab water whole,
It will slip through somehow.
The history you left planted has grown beyond belief, so much so that you refrain from cutting the edges, keeping it healthy.
A long journey home and as I leave what I now call a safe haven. You remain fixed in my mind.
Funny how a lot can change in a space of 24 hours.
The comfort in being within a presence greater than me and you was amazing.
I danced
I rejoiced and I felt connected.
Ascertaining core fundamentals and being accepted.
Welcomed as I shared stories, banter.
and while the chicken roasts and potato boiled, I buried a part of me.
This maze proves difficult when searching for something you will never find.
I am walking in circles,
A hula hoop with no groove, it just falls right through.
Who am I really fighting?
As I sat round the table today, I felt that love.
I felt that shared strength and support.
25 years. Its too late to bring back the past. It will take time.


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