Saturday, 16 January 2010

No Happy ever after

Our journey spanned over 9 years.

Throughout that time I always wondered what it was that I done wrong,
Why you was not happy enough to stay?
Was I wrong in thinking you felt the same as I did?

Both young in mind we planned our future,
Ech-a-skteched our time line together but it kept erasing every time you ran away and now it seems that I have picked up a similar trait.

I wanted to show you things you imagined, bring them to life in the best way I could even if it meant my suffering,
I just wanted to make you happy.

I laugh because we have been through a lot, scared at the thoughts of loosing you,
sat by the bed as they stuffed you with tubes, you looked lifeless, pale and bruised.
I thought I lost you,
The hours were like days,
I felt useless,
I was not there when you needed me the most.
I prayed that you would come though.
It was that moment I realized how much I felt.
Did not want you out of my sight,
I gave up a lot of my ways that night.

You was in love, I could feel it.
Saw it in you eyes.

And still, you disappeared.
I waited for you.
Even within your absence, subconsciously, I waited for you..
Like an idiot I made countless moves and kept forgiving even though you meant no harm.
Embarrassed and made a fool out of,
Indeed I should have hated you but even in your return,
I had no room in my mind to.

Picture me walking on Hot coals to get to a heart that kept moving,
I'm there in pain chasing whilst you was Confused
And all I wanted you to do was to stop.


and talk to me.
Hard headed you never expressed how you felt just kept shutting down and I'll get frantic wondering what I done wrong.

Its a little too late now..

Not the easiest of things to say..

Friends? I am not sure.

However, I do not hate you..

I guess I'll see you around...


1 comment:

  1. This is more than emotional... Its so strange how you can come from a completely different walk of life from someone... but still feel similarities through certain experiences..

    I guess poetry is about touching other people with your words, and even evoking emotions in them as they read/listen to your work... I greatly appreciate this piece.