Saturday, 16 January 2010

No Happy ever after

Our journey spanned over 9 years.

Throughout that time I always wondered what it was that I done wrong,
Why you was not happy enough to stay?
Was I wrong in thinking you felt the same as I did?

Both young in mind we planned our future,
Ech-a-skteched our time line together but it kept erasing every time you ran away and now it seems that I have picked up a similar trait.

I wanted to show you things you imagined, bring them to life in the best way I could even if it meant my suffering,
I just wanted to make you happy.

I laugh because we have been through a lot, scared at the thoughts of loosing you,
sat by the bed as they stuffed you with tubes, you looked lifeless, pale and bruised.
I thought I lost you,
The hours were like days,
I felt useless,
I was not there when you needed me the most.
I prayed that you would come though.
It was that moment I realized how much I felt.
Did not want you out of my sight,
I gave up a lot of my ways that night.

You was in love, I could feel it.
Saw it in you eyes.

And still, you disappeared.
.
.
I waited for you.
Even within your absence, subconsciously, I waited for you..
Like an idiot I made countless moves and kept forgiving even though you meant no harm.
Embarrassed and made a fool out of,
Indeed I should have hated you but even in your return,
I had no room in my mind to.

Picture me walking on Hot coals to get to a heart that kept moving,
I'm there in pain chasing whilst you was Confused
Nervous
Scared
And all I wanted you to do was to stop.

Just...

Stop...
and talk to me.
Hard headed you never expressed how you felt just kept shutting down and I'll get frantic wondering what I done wrong.
.
.
.

Its a little too late now..

Not the easiest of things to say..

Friends? I am not sure.

However, I do not hate you..

I guess I'll see you around...

J

1 comment:

  1. This is more than emotional... Its so strange how you can come from a completely different walk of life from someone... but still feel similarities through certain experiences..

    I guess poetry is about touching other people with your words, and even evoking emotions in them as they read/listen to your work... I greatly appreciate this piece.

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